I’m going to share something really vulnerable and personal with you. I thought long and hard on wether I should but it's a large part of who I am and only sharing the tidy bits of my life didn’t feel right either.

I found out about six months ago that I have ADHD. (To no big surprise to anyone that knows me well.) I’ve always had an abundance of energy and have generally burned through life with great efficiency and excitement but have in all honesty not payed that much attention to things outside of my own zone of focus. When my kids speak, I secretly wish they could get to the point faster. I don’t mind spending days building a doll house but would rather sell my kids than actually play with dolls. When I listen to a friend in need of a friend I think up solutions to their problems before they’ve had a chance to finish their sentences (efficient, right?). And it’s finally dawned on me that the reason I’m not healing from my burnout is that as soon as I get a wee bit of energy I race off and learn everything there is to know about sourdough baking. My art may look peaceful but it’s certainly not a reflection of the inside of my brain.

So, I decided to try ADHD meds. To be able to actually be present with my family, to get to read a book without flipping through Netflix, knitting a scarf and watching the news simultaneously, and bottom line - to become a more thoughtful fellow human because the portrait I just painted of myself is not something I'd hang in public.

But ADHD medication is a jungle and finding what works for each individual turns out to be a bit of a rollercoaster. The last couple of weeks have been pretty chaotic and I’m still in that messy middle - but at least with my feet pointing in the right direction.

How this will affect my painting practice is still left to be seen but I hope you stick around to find out 💛

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